A recent comment I wrote on a blog post, and a few thoughts for today.

Posted on June 3, 2011

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Decided to share a comment I made on adult industry blog LukeIsBack.com today (here is a link to the post and comment thread):

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This is a good comment thread in regards to the issues and especially the mindsets of what’s taking place right now in regards to porn’s “future”.

I’ve said and written quite a bit over the past couple of years on what I’ve observed in and out of porn world and it’s all been genuinely how I’ve felt about where I was, what I’ve experienced and who I was encountering at that moment. I’ve gone from “sane” to “crazy” and have com e full circle quite a few times now (that is if there’s such a thing as either term).

To Michael Whiteacre: I’m not certain anyone in this situation is really as diabolical as you’re hypothesizing in regards to obliterating porn all together – but then again you never know.

Actually your little friend “3ach3961” (the one who needs to learn how to speak from his diaphragm) called me out as a “backstabber” and “batshit crazy” – maybe…but I don’t feel I’m that way. I perceive myself as simply being very empathetic at this phase of my life.

I don’t really think you needed to put your efforts into the Lubben expose. In my view it’s the equivalent of those PWL wikis. You are seasoned, smart, reputable and talented enough from what I know of you not to have lowered yourself to those sort of tactics to make your point or share your views. I’m thinking there may have been a personal vendetta involved however being that I’ve come to realize there’s quite a bit of “porn history” amongst many in this “game” that isn’t being acknowledged.

There may be some elements that are off about the Pink Cross along with the majority of “anti-porn” groups and supposed “porn exit gateways”, but considering that most are just the flipside of the same coin that the porn industry rests on I’m really not too surprised.

To Origen: I agree, women are a huge untapped market and the more ideally and universally attractive male performers (whether they’re “cross-overs” or not) will be the the future. Hell, I’m a single 32 year old woman and I know what I want to see more of. “Christian” or not, I know damn well when I’m sitting at home alone and am horny I might feel like watching some porn – and the last thing I want to look at is an over the hill, overweight, not so attractive guy having sex. I’m sure that for porn marketed to men, that “look” works but not for women like me – I want an Adonis so I actually DO hope that LA Direct picks up Jeremy Bilding and some others like him – QUICKLY.

To Everyone: I feel that many of you reading this who are porn “professionals” (and I use that term very loosely) are definitely using this “cross-over” issue as a mask for a plethora of other agendas. Considering the age of many of you and social maturity level you SHOULD HAVE reached by now, it’s pretty pathetic.

I think it’s time for many of you that will be affected by some upcoming changes to come clean and ADMIT what’s REALLY bothering you. Then admit what you really want, and why.

Look, a lot of this mess (especially as many of you know the PWL issue) REALLY hurt my feelings. Of course it’s beyond wrong and breached some legalities on various levels, but it REALLY hurt my feelings, pride and has been beyond embarrassing (but I suppose that was the point). Ironically after dealing with the emotions and circumstance that it’s brought upon my life, the situation has made me stronger of course, but it’s also made me realize the need to TRUTH and transparency on all levels in (and outside) of the industry in regards to possibly everyone – not just a select few.

To “Kelli”: I’m not going to let up on you because you need to come clean in regards to a few things and provide some answers. Exactly HOW IS IT OK for Jerry Aharony and whoever else to make a financial gain off of my, my family’s and a multitude of other’s pain, anxiety and stress? Also why exactly were you so surprised when I decided to make it a bit more known publicly about Mallcom Inc / AdultDVD.com being the recipient of the targeted traffic the PWL venture is sending that particular business entity?

I’ve done a lot of shit in my time, but I’m willing to attach my name to it all. You don’t pull shit on people unless you are willing to say “Hey it was me and this is WHO I AM (or was)”. If you can NOT or DO NOT WANT TO do that then you must not really believe in what you are doing to begin with now – do you?

Yes, that’s some bitter medicine to take, but once you take it you feel better then you start the process of getting well. In my current view, that’s what true ACCOUNTABILITY is.

To Everyone: I define myself as of current as a Christian and of God – my mother instilled those values in me as a child – however I DO question life and religion which I’ve found as of recent to many modern Christians is seen as “un-Christian”. I’ve started to notice that I’m even being called a “witch” – hope I don’t get burned at the stake but nothing would surprise me at this point.

Funny that so many still in this day and age want to define everything as so clear cut – “black” or “white”. At this phase when I think about it I don’t think I like ANY group: Porn, Anti-porn, Christian, Atheist, Satanic, etc – I guess I just have to lack definition from this stage on because I only like individuals (and a very few at that). I suppose I can only be a part of the Alexandra industry and religious group.

Condoms….here’s the real deal with that in my view in relation to porn – the little piece of rubber is being used as an element of control at this stage – so it’s time to define WHAT and WHO is using it to control some aspects of porn and WHY. Now I personally feel that condoms would protect quite a few men and women, but not just from STDs. It will protect their confidence and it will protect them from certain types of individuals who are looking to intimidate and degrade them beyond their initial expectations.

Quite a few of you who are anti-condom are definitely anti-condom because you know damn well that you want to fuck the adult talent behind the scenes condomless. You also want to create content that pushes the limits of many (though not all) performer’s initial comfort level when it comes to degradation. Many of you who intimidate talents into being with you are not tested and THAT is how a lot of disease is being spread (and you are using the concept of “cross-over” talents as the scapegoats).

Furthermore, as I stated in a recent MonicaAtHome.com broadcast quite a few of you in porn practice some religious rituals in which the exchange of bodily fluids are vital – so though many of you will never publicly admit this – it’s an issue.

The hatred towards gays, bisexuals and various ethnicity needs to come to an end – at least on the surface, very quickly because as a “professional” group of people you are looking VERY bad on a world scale. As many of you know (and I’m sure most of you do now considering my PWL wiki) I am the daughter of an openly bisexual man who is currently in a gay relationship. I (along with many others – involved in porn or not) take the hatred towards certain sexual preferences and ethnic groups that many of you are displaying VERY personally, because essentially what you are attempting to put into effect is “acceptable discrimination”. I feel that I’m essentially the real life result of a “cross-over” and I don’t like my family being told that they should justifiably discriminated against. I also don’t like being told that my views on bi-sexuality and homosexuality being acceptable is COMPLETELY wrong and/or dangerous/risky (that is far too broad of a statement to make).

Like I said, it’s time for many of you reading this to come clean about what is REALLY bothering you, what you want, and why. There are FAR too many lies, coverups and manipulations occurring in porn. Prostitution being a huge one – right now much of the porn industry is a STRUCTURED gateway into that world whether you want to admit it or not. That’s where a lot of the STDs are coming from into the talent pool, which is why RIGHT NOW in my view condoms need to be much more the norm if not mandatory.

Now if certain people who really don’t need to even BE attached to porn were to be elliminated who facilitate the prostitution gateway, that would definitely help. Also if pay rates were increased to what the talent is REALLY worth and/or residuals were implemented then much of the talent probably wouldn’t go into the riskier sex work arenas. People generally don’t take risks unless they have to, and with the current lack of compensation for porn talents – they are finding that they have to.

I personally don’t feel that “cross overs” are any more high risk than any other talents – especially considering that prostitution element that I just covered that several “straight” performers are involved in. Why should “cross-overs” or ANYONE have to make a choice of only working in ONE marketplace of porn? Transgender/Transexual and gay porn is a growing and very lucrative market that no performer should be forced to cut themselves off from (due to some hateful political agenda).

Any professional talent (male, female or somewhere in between) is not going to put themselves in a risky situation if they don’t have to – and you cut the chances of someone having to, by ELEVATING the overall professional standards and practices of the industry. The money IS THERE to do so – so to those of you who are hoarding it all, it’s time to stop being so greedy and loosen the purse strings.

Speaking of greed – my whole take on the hatred towards LA Direct and Spiegler is simply that they currently have the best product (talent) and quite of a few of you know it and are jealous as can be. A lot of that talent was DEVELOPED and cultivated – it didn’t happen overnight, so stop trying to steal what these 2 have and find and develop your own talents. If you can’t – do something else – yea the girl supply and influx has dropped, but why are you surprised considering the greed and abuse many girls looking at the business from the outside have become aware of.

Throughout this epic “porn battle” there’s a ton of varying “agendas” and while some of you have been vary visible and vocal about certain issues, others have remained in the shadows and have stayed VERY quiet. It’s the quiet ones I’m really looking at and that I suggest many of you do as well. Of course some with the most the gain are hiding in plain site too…

Look, I’ve been through a lot psychologically and emotionally due to my dealings with those in and attached to “porn” but I’ve made it through. What I’ve come to realize however is that many of you who are in and attached to this industry haven’t had to deal with much of ANYTHING at ALL – but you will. Quite a few of you have gotten away with more than you want to admit to, and your faces and identities are being attached to your deeds at an increasing rate. I honestly don’t believe that quite a few of you will fair as well as I have due to having it too easy for far too long (and not even understanding the concept of true ACCOUNTABILITY).

This response is getting far to long, but I’ll conclude with this: What happened in the porn industry (at least on an intellectual level) is that you have a bunch of honor class students – borderline geniuses for that matter (some of who were very nerdy social rejects who have used porn as a platform to get “revenge” on the types of people who slighted them back in the day – others who were just lazy and rebellious who simply coasted), now exploiting the slow and special needs students. Not cool considering that the strong should help, not hurt, the weak.

Now it’s time for college where all you gotta do is the minimal to get a degree, so whether you have an IQ of 160 or 50 it all depends on how hard you’re actually willing to work and how resourceful you actually are. All the degree holders will be on a level playing field and all any employer is really looking for is what they perceive as the best (and so you know – your employers are who pay you – in the case the public who buy your porn).

So anyways, if you believe in God I suggest you pray – if you’re more into the flipside – go for luck and maybe cast a spell if need be. If you’re into neither I don’t know what to tell you.

I’m done stating the obvious as usual for today. I suppose I just felt like writing. Time for my idealistic little self to throw my Bible into my backpack, pull on my thong, turn on my webcam, jump on my broom and fly away.

Laterz ∞

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A few added thoughts for the day:

If you’re going to talk the talk, you have to walk the walk.
(I decided to start walking today)

Before anything is known, first it’s unknown.

Fear of the unknown is rational, as long as you’re willing to make the unknown, known.
(I have several fears, but being that I’ve made many things unknown to me known – I’m certain I’ll be able to overcome all my present and future fears)

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